you could not walk the ramp called life !

another day. another model committed a suicide.  why? why? why? apparently they could not cope up with the pressures life puts them under. hence they preferred to put a final full stop to it. whatever. my point is, does the name fame and money make you so weak??

model named viveka babaji hanged herself yesterday. that's third well known Indian model to have committed a suicide after nafisa joseph and kuljeet randhawa. what goes wrong? you work had to come in the industry. you start modeling from early age.  from early college days preferably. you struggle hard and harder. unending shoots, ramp walks, shows, assignments, fashion coordinators, agents, hotels, parties and socializing. what nex? where does the thing go wrong? 

the movie 'fashion' tried to portray the early rise to the top and then the fall and loneliness of a model. personally, i couldnt understand what exactly went wrong in all their lives. probably the director didnt show, or i couldnt grasp. anyways, thats not the point. the point is that why the hell would somebody turn so lonely, antisocial, and depressed after a hell lot of a fame and money? 

i know money cant buy you happiness. well, frankly, nothing can. the ones who do not have money, crave for it, thinking they can buy everything that akes them happy. the problem is that happiness does not exist. you can not touch, feel or see it. let alone buy. your heart decides that it is happy, and then you are happy with whatever frugal things you have. and if it decides not to, the palaces cant make you happy. 

now, if its this way, how will our heart feel that it is happy? no idea. no answer. it just comes from within i guess. its probably a horrible irony of life. the have nots thinking that money buys them happiness and the super haves spending money in search of happiness and still not finding it. you know what, somewhere i feel it is better to be poor and not famous in a way. why? becausee then your hope and your dreams do not leave you. when you have everything, the hope and the dreams die. when you have everything, there is no thrill, excitement and dreams in life. and life, becomes void. thats probably the only explanation of why do rich and famous do it. the lack of dreams. 

folks, even if we all become super rich and famous, i wish that our hope and our dreams do not die. that's probably the only way to keep your sanity, and walk the ramp called life gracefully!

the break

so! Its been a while since i wrote- i have stopped getting comments by the day..and i am very very angry about it! no interaction..no talk..no feedback!

anyways, the point is that i am on a break. It has been 3 months since i left my job, and sat at home( well not practically, but yes, for conversational terms, yes) and i have been enjoying the break. i do not remember a time in which a did not have a routine. I had internships in my University holidays, and other activities like German class in my college holidays. yes, all the entrances in my post final year holiday. so, in many ways, this was a unique break for me. this is just one of them.

secondly, and more importantly, i had a twist given to my personal and professional life. well,personal ,not so much. I am still engaged to the same guy :P  but  professional? whoa! a good one though. I studies for GRE till april end and appeared and got a good score. now kahaani mein twist. I have decided to stay back in India, not go to the US( which made me get frustrated over leaving my job, and mugging all those thousand horrible words for GRE). but i am happy. it is a well informed decision, anyways. i spoke to some friends, some colleagues from media and some professors. after a string of long chats, i have decided that i am staying in india ( ye mera India..i love my India) and let my career prosper!!! yay! :)  the discussions, the brainstorming and other things took too much of mental space sometime, but it is OK. you have to be cool with the criss-cross lines of thoughts and occasional mood swings :P 

I also swam. went swimming after a really long time. after 10 years probably. went on the tank for an entire month. regularly, without fail. and i discovered that swimming is one of the best cardio workouts. better, coz you do not sweat. the blue water actually drags you inside it..and the moment you get in water, all your worries, headaches, fatigue, tensions..gone! vanish!

i managed the house and other functions for some days..in absence of rest of the family members who were abroad. i bought new clothes. i made new discoveries about myself. i wrote letters. i went to friends' surprise bday parties. and even if i did not have anything much to do, i did not fight much..so i learned anger management :P

i got busy with the shifting of house, and now the rains are here!!! i love it!!

well, the break was really refreshing. i enjoyed it, and moreover, i have got a feeling that the break was well spent. I have started looking for new jobs( kabhi sabse bada rupaiyya) and hope my new job will be good as well. then i can positively say that the break ended on a good note :)